You don’t have to be in the raging hormone years of puberty to be infinitely curious about sex. As you get older, your body goes through changes that affect how you think and feel about sex. Some of them are confusing times. Things don’t always go how you’d like. You wonder what’s going on with your body. You might want sex, but nothing happens. You might wonder why you don’t want sex. Which is even more troubling. So you have questions. Certainly can’t ask your parents. There’s no class for adults called Sex Drive and What the Heck Happened to it. And this time, there’s no Louie in the schoolyard to fill you in. Nope, getting vague answers and a cookie didn’t work when you were a kid. Not going to work now. So we’ll try to tackle the tough questions around sex drive or lack of it, here.


Always has been.  Because of certain hormones, our bodies are hard-wired to want it. Due to all these chemicals moving in and around your body, desire can start pretty early; sometime between age 7 and 13 in girls, and 9 and 12 in boys. Just think back. As your hormones increased, your cheerleader or football captain lust increased with them. And that inner itch got more and more persistent. Your appetite for sex surpassed your taste for anything less spicy. Today, sex is out there everywhere. Name a video that isn’t Disney, and sex fills the screen. It’s a real turn-on. Or isn’t it?


One study that appeared in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the average adult currently enjoys sex 54 times a year, which equates to about once a week. It found that only 26% of couples are hitting the once-a-week mark, with the majority of the respondents reporting less. Another study stated that married couples are having sex about seven times a month, which is a little less than twice a week. Yet another claimed that married couples are having sex about seven times a month, which is a little less than twice a week.


For single millennials, the rise of dating and hook-up apps means access to sex has never been easier. In theory. In what an article in The Atlantic termed a sex recession, young adults–especially men—are now having far less sex than prior generations. “How can that be?” is probably your next probing question. Millennials are living in a time of chronic stress that has an unwelcome impact on their sex lives. College debt, job worries, working in a gig economy, living at home, worrying about their futures, and the rise of what has been called “the hustle culture” leads to chronic stress. Which triggers the release of hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine, which in high levels can cause decreased sex drive. Whatever your age, when it comes to sex, there is no normal. So if you’re not having sex with the frequency of everyone in the Bridgerton Netflix series, it’s NBD. If you don’t really want sex at all, it’s definitely worth questioning.


Libido. One of those words people think they’ve heard of, but aren’t exactly sure. It’s actually pretty easy; libido=sex drive. Actually, it comes from early 20th century Latin, literally desire and lust.


Well, yes, they do. Just like those birds and bees. And practically every living creature. They’re just different in men and women. Study after study shows that men’s sex drives are not only stronger than women’s but much more straightforward. The sources of women’s libidos, by contrast, are much harder to pin down. Often for them, libido starts in the head before it heads south. The majority of adult men under 60 think about sex at least once a day. Only about one-quarter of women say they think about it that frequently. But thinking isn’t doing. 


Waning libido doesn’t discriminate.  As many as 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men have experienced sexual dysfunction, and one of the most common problems is low libido or a low sex drive, You’re just not feeling it. A low libido puts your “gotta get it” in stall. You feel like you’re in a permanent no-nooky slump with a perpetual “not now, I’ve got a headache”. For both sexes, low libido is one of the most common sexual issues, and it can affect you in many ways. Low desire may mean not wanting to have sex, but it also means not wanting to masturbate, having few sexual fantasies, and being worried about the lack of desire. The big question; how could this happen to me? WHAT DO HORMONES HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

One of the biggest reasons “horny” disappears and libido languishes are hormones that are out of balance. It’s estimated that 70 percent of low sex drive cases are due to misfiring hormones. Testosterone and estrogen are key to maintaining a healthy libido. Other hormones which can influence libido in men and women include DHEA and thyroid. Since DHEA is the precursor to testosterone, inadequate DHEA concentrations in the body can lead to low amounts of testosterone and reduced sex drive. Also, an abnormally low amount of thyroid hormone may decrease sex drive by causing a slowdown in the metabolism of the reproductive organs.


The hormone testosterone plays a big part in men’s health, but perhaps its most meaningful role is to fuel sex drive and performance. Testosterone levels tend to decrease with age. They peak by early adulthood and then can drop by up to 1% to 2% per year beginning in your 30’s. Today, more than ever, testosterone levels are under siege from sedentary jobs, stress, lack of exercise, and lack of sleep, to poor diets and lifestyle choices. Other factors can pull T levels down; antidepressants, blood pressure meds, and antihistamines. And yes, even too tight tightly whiteys. And as we’ve mentioned above, chronic stress (and who doesn’t have any, especially now?), plays a role. Anything that increases stress can cause decreased libido because the body reacts to stress by releasing cortisol. Cortisol decreases testosterone hence libido suffers. It’s a sex-free circle.


Actually, it isn’t just estrogen that’s responsible for low libido in women. Nearly one-third of women aged 18 to 59 suffer from a lost interest in sex, and it’s not all in their heads. An imbalance of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone levels can lead to a reduction of sexual drive and energy in women. Women are on a hormone roller coaster from year to year with more spikes than the post-Covid financial picture. Hormone levels fluctuate throughout their cycles. The 30s are a prime decade for baby-making where hormones go haywire through each trimester and then during breastfeeding, triggering a lack of desire. Hormonal changes are also on the charge in your 40’s. Perimenopause, menopause, and post-menopause can definitely hit the pause button on your libido. The older you get, the more all your hormone levels decline.


First, accept old is arbitrary. Contrary to common myths, sex isn’t just for the young. There’s a lot of action going on between the sheets as seniors (we need to come up with a better word than that) continue to enjoy their sexuality into their 80s and beyond. There is no age limit on sexuality and sexual activity, according to the sexual research group The Kinsey Institute. The thing is, the drive to do it is often dependent on getting the hormones that can make horny happen, balanced. And give your libido a healthy boost.


That’s easy; Denver Hormone Health. At DHH, ask any and all questions about sex, sex drive, and sex drive that seems to have disappeared somewhere, with absolutely no embarrassing hesitation. DHH’s concerned and understanding experts want and encourage you to talk about this part of your life. And the first thing they’ll tell you is that if your libido is low, you don’t have to live with it. All those hormones we’ve been talking about, the specialists at Denver Hormone Health know all about them. How they can hurt you. And how they can help you. Comprehensive testing and evaluation will let them assess the problem and restore imbalances that kept you from shifting your sex drive into full throttle. Sex toys aren’t an answer. Nor are bizarre herbal remedies. Especially those libido lifters clogging the internet bandwidth. At Denver Hormone Health you’ll get straight answers you can trust, along with a personalized program of safe, natural bioidentical hormones you can trust to put the sizzle back in sex.

So, that’s “The Talk”. At least the adult one. Did you get all your answers? You can get even more by making an appointment at Denver Hormone Health now. (Gee, where was DHH when you had acne, stashed slutty magazines under your bed, and couldn’t talk sex with mom and dad for anything?)

THE TESTOSTERONE TEST – Low Libido: What Do You Really Know About it?

Low Libido

Let’s take a quick little quiz:

  1. Does anyone really know what libido is?
  2. Do only men have libido?
  3. Are libido and ego related?
  4. Where did libido come from?
  5. Is your libido MIA?


  1. Scientists and physicians and such know what “libido” really is
  2. Women, in fact, do have libidos and they don’t come from watching “The Real Housewives of New Jersey”. (see “lust” on Google”)
  3. According to Freud, yes, although when you put them together, narcissism figures in (go figure)
  4. Early 20th century: from Latin, literally ‘desire’, ‘lust
  5. If you’ve lost interest in sex, it’s definitely worth questioning

That said, let’s start this libido lesson with our old pal Freud. According to him and his other pals, “Libido is an expression taken from the theory of the emotions. We call by that name the energy, regarded as a quantitative magnitude (though not at present actually measurable), of those instincts which have to do with all that may be comprised under the word ‘love”‘.

Sex. It’s Starting to Get Good Here

In real life, “libido” comes down to 2 little words: SEX DRIVE. Virility plays a big role in our concept of manhood. There’s the sex appeal of everything from Victoria’s Secret Models to women wrestlers. Conquests are bandied about, well, just about everywhere. Instagram images? Instant varoomm.. You can be hypersexual and tear down your desire track, desperately seeking opportunity, driven to act on the urge, not taking a minute to stop at your neighborhood sex toy shop.

Just How Low Can Your Libido Go?

On the opposite side, you could be grounded by hyposexuality, a low libido putting your “gotta get it” in stall. You feel like you’re in a permanent no-nooky slump regardless of the allure of barely-there lingerie.  A lot of factors can cause a low libido. It could be something as simple as moral or religious reasons. Psychologically, a person’s urge can be repressed or sublimated. On the other hand, a person can engage in sexual activity without an actual desire for it. Multiple factors affect human sex drive, including stress, illness and others. Problems can arise from disparity of sexual desires between partners, or poor communication between partners of sexual needs and preferences.

Caution: Porn Warning

Porn’s allure and ever-present existence isn’t exactly titillating new news. The question that still remains, however, is how this tsunami of porn is affecting the libido of the American male. Most men you ask who are married or in relationships will claim they are still attracted to their partners sexually. But the reality (or rather non-reality) of easy-access porn gives men access to younger, hotter, and more sexually adventurous women. Researcher believe that porn causes the male brain to release a dopamine-oxytocin combo—sort of like a “biochemical love potion” that fires up your neurotransmitters that not only get you off on porn, but potentially develop a biological attachment to it. Even those with hyposexuality can get off on it.

Put it to the Real Test

You might not call sexual problems as having a problem with your libido. You do know that the problems are real, and a real concern to you. They’re a real concern for men everywhere. You feel like your masculinity is in question. You feel like a sexual failure. You feel like you can’t talk to anyone about it, including your spouse. If it’s a matter of “take it or leave it” and you keep coming up with “leave it”, it’s a good chance the only thing wrong, is a hormone imbalance. And no one in the area has more experience and success in treating hormone imbalances than Stephen A. Goldstein M.D., F.A.C.S. at Denver Hormone Health. He treats the issue of sexuality seriously. Before anything, he’ll have a lot of questions to ask you. And you’ll feel like you could tell him anything. Then, with simple tests, he can target what the trouble really is, and treat it with a program exclusively for you. That simple.

So call for an appointment now.

And put your sex life in drive again.